Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
