i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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