when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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