WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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