Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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