More tranny stories later!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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