I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Alive.
So much puke
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
