No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just pee around me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
