I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
