the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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