Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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