remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
