o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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