VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
