dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
