check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize