I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have aggressive nipples.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
