They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize