Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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