i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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