Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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