Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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