I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
