ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
