I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
