apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
