i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
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