Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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