I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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