On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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