i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
