fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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