Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
