her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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