you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize