i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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