Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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