I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
