he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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