i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize