So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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