sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
please don't ironically join a cult
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