Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
