VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
