Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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