I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
