As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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