I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
