Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
