Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
