i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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