just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
