It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
