I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize