Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
