im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
