talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
