can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
