This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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