Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
