I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
