I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
