i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize