I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
